Conversations with Hugh

Hugh is four years old, but he has what others like to say "an old soul," which is really a gentle way of saying he thinks he's a forty year-old independently wealthy man with unlimited funds and power. I love Hugh for his strong personality because it's like I have this little man/household CEO as my companion all day. Without a doubt, every day consists of a constant string of negotiating everything from what he should eat (he wants to eat only a select number of carbohydrates) to what he should wear (pajamas, shorts, nothing), where he should sleep (anywhere but his bed), and who should bring him whatever he wants whenever he wants (me), and whose house he can play at (any house but ours). But what is unique about Hugh is that he talks with the confidence of an adult.

Scene: (kitchen table) Hugh ordered some Doritos for a mid-morning snack, and after some negotiation, settled on peanut butter crackers. During our snack, he says to me,
"What rhymes with dolphin? Doll or Finn?"
Me: "Is this a trick question?"
Hugh: "It's 'doll. . .' And do you know what that is?"
Me: "Yes, a doll is. . ."
Hugh: "It's a kind of a bug. And when it gets really big it shoots lazers out of its eyes."
Me: "Leggos?"
Hugh: "NO! LAZERS! A bug that shoots leggos out of its eyes--that would be WEIRD!"
Me: I didn't know a bug like that existed. I mean, lazers. . ."
Hugh: "Well, if he could shoot leggos it would be awesome because he could build anything with them! There's a spider like that that lives in the water."
Me: "I thought spiders hated water."
Hugh: "Yeah, if I saw a spider, I would hurry and jump in the ocean and a shark would eat it!"
Me: "Well, obviously."