The Wonder Years

I went with Topher to his 20th High School Reunion and it was really fun. You don't expect the spouse of the graduating class to say that, do you? In fact, at the end of the night, I almost felt that I could have convinced myself that I did go to Provo high. I don't want to be a traitor to my Southeast High graduating class of '92, but there it is. I had a great time and thanks to all of Topher's stories, and the friends I happen to have made within their class over the years in seemingly haphazardly ways, I found myself laughing and reminiscing as if I had been there, too. After all, we listened to the same music, wore our hair the same way, so it's like the same experience, right?

I should admit right off that when I was in high school I used to dream of tri-stake Utah dances and alcohol free dance clubs where I could meet other Mormon boys. I used to wish, a little, that I could have that kind of experience instead of being the only different one. Of course everyone in high school thinks they're the different one, which is a fact that is lost on you until you grow up. I just wondered what it would be like to go to a party and not explain why you don't drink for the one hundredth time or be a little worried that someone (like say, your "best friend") was going to slip something into your drink just so they could all laugh at how they tricked the Mormon girl to drink a little cinnamon schnapps in her diet coke (Oh, eighth grade was a doozy of a year!)

After the reunion I confessed to Topher that according to my estimation, about 90% of my embarrassing life moments happened in high school. I have been reliving some of them in my mind, with that same twinge of awkwardness, and have concluded that I still embarrass myself, but the difference is now I don't really care.

So, just for fun, I've been amassing in my mind some of my most uncomfortable memories and here's what I came up with, in no particular order:

1. My first date: I was so excited because it was Prom and this boy I had a little crush on asked me out of the blue. He was from another ward near mine and we had been friends for a long time. It was 2 weeks before my 16th birthday and I was really excited, but then my mom's weird "friend" called her and yelled at her at how inappropriate it was for me to go before I was officially 16 (keep in mind that most of my friends were sexually active at this point and I hadn't been on one date yet). My mom told her to mind her own business, but, seriously, whose first date starts off with so much drama? Then I go on the date, have a great time, and then at the post-Prom party at the high school, my date excuses himself and when he returns after an uncomfortably long period of time and I ask him where he's been, he says, nonchalantly, "Oh, I was just calling my girlfriend." (2 uncomfortably moments with one story: BAM!)

2. I was the last of everyone in the world to go through puberty and so my friends called my "Little Lisa" for a long time (I was the original Polly Pocket) and don't worry, the irony is not lost on me now. . . it simply adds to the delay of embarrassment so I'll feel the full effect (which I do). . .Well, suddenly, as it happens, I, um, developed a different physique over the summer before my 9th grade year and hoped nobody would really notice. I really thought I could just fly under the radar, until that dream was killed by one of my best guy friends when he called me after the first day of school to tellme everyone had noticed and were talking about my chest (not the word he used). Best. Phone. Call. Ever.

3. I was Prom Queen my junior year (which I only mention because it is pertinent to the story and because it makes Gina jealous) and after holding up the drunk Prom King for the appropriate amount of time, I walked off the stage with my tiara feeling pretty good and my cute really drunk friend comes up to me and says really loudly, "Oh, are you the prom queen? I heard that from someone!" (it had just happened) "That is sooooo cute! You know, they usually pick someone whose cool and popular, so that's sooo awesome that they chose you instead!"

I had a lot of great experiences in high school. WONDERful memories. But today, I salute the awkward.