Wednesday, May 5, 2010

I think I might have post traumatic stress disorder.

In the last 2 weeks I have:

*run a 1/2 marathon (I'll stop talking about this soon, don't worry.)
*spoken to hundreds at Women's Conference
*stressed out about running 13.1 miles (stressing out is a real thing, right? I mean it's not like you can fully enjoy relaxing, sleeping, watching tv, etc because part of you is preoccupied, right?)
*stressed out about going to Women's Conference (what does this mean? Who am I? What is expected of me? Where is the fudge everyone's been talking about? What--they serve Bajios in the hall!? This is a whole new world AND I LIKE IT!)
*stressed out about what I was going to wear to Women's Conference (I hate to admit that, because it seems so predictable, but it was a process and I just ended up wearing something comfortable and old from my closet, so it was all wasted energy. I'm sure there's a point in that, and maybe it's that I hate to admit when I'm girly and predictable, but, there you have it.)
*watched my son set apart with the Aaronic Priesthood (emotional!)
*watched my son pass the sacrament for the first time (he looks so young and so old at the same time--how can that be?)
*sent Topher off to Austria
*gave Miles a no-holds-barred sex talk (the final chapter in my 4 part series. I'm kind of kidding, but mostly I'm not.)
*Did 16 loads of laundry (I usually don't count, but I did to make this post seem more dramatic)
*Went to a piano recital, baptism, 3 baseball practices (I kept typing "rehearsals" because I couldn't think of what they really call it in sports), and all the "regular" places (Target et. all)
*tried to relax

I told myself that I would "take it easy" this week and not worry about exercising and just lay around and watch tv and read and do whatever I want, but I've found that I have all this nervous energy that I've apparently become used to that I can't sit still. I know this feeling will wear off soon, but until then I've gotten a lot of stuff done and things crossed off my to-do list. Really, the garage has never been cleaner and the cupboards are organized and all that. But I'm sure that things will end badly. Like, I might pass out at the grocery store and sleep for 5 days, or I might start staring at a stain in the carpet and it will put me in a drooling trance. I know, I know, I lead a glamorous life and it cannot be sustained indefinitely! (Because if VH-1's "Behind the Music" has taught us anything, it's that you can't live in the fast lane forever. . .)

AND, I keep
*obsessing over Lost and HOW IT WILL ALL END just keeps my mind spinning and running and racing.


  1. Wow! I hyperventilated just reading that! :)
    Sounds like you need a nice little vacation! Short of that, try breathing in to a brown paper bag...yeah, that's all I got! :)

  2. Love it! Sounds just like my life! (Except the running part, but I was there and watched my daughter run in her first half-marathon ever!) You are amazing! Oh yeah, the brown paper bag really works!

  3. You are insane, we should do a long run!

  4. I got nothin'. Really. I'm not doing anything comparatively.

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  6. I so wish I could have heard you speak -- I love your blog posts! And I too am obsessing about Lost: simultaneously counting days until the finale, while dreading it, since that leaves me no pop culture fixation. And summer reruns on the horion. What's a girl to do....?

  7. Come clean my storage room or come run the provo half with me in August.

  8. Look away from the stain, Lisa--look away.

  9. Marylynn--Might I suggest Friday Night Lights to give you your pop culture fix?

    Kate--I WILL! (but you will totally smoke me in the provo half!)

    Kacy, I can't. . .I can't look away. . .
    Don't you think I would if I COULD?

  10. lost: the whole thing is going to be a dreams sequence. Hurley's dream sequence.

  11. Ok, I am writing this comment a lot after the fact but I just found this blog and love it! So, two questions: 1/ What was your topic at Women's Conference? I sure wish I lived in Utah so I could attend these things instead of having to search blogs and google to find out what I missed. But I digress. Question #2 : So what DID you think about the ending of LOST? I have mixed thoughts....but I really miss the show. I loved reading the books and analyzing the mysteries. I think there should be a community for LAA (Lost Addicts Anonymous).