How to Hate Cleaning LESS, Part II

This is the second in my three part quest to make cleaning a little less painful for someone. Anyone. Why am I doing this? Because those Saturdays my parents taught me how to clean have to mean something. Because the little voices in my head should be shared to make me feel less frightened. What?

So after you know what it is your ideal is--or what you like--I think you should acknowledge the dark side of cleaning. A mental dusting out of your brain, if you will. Go ahead and name the reasons why you hate it, but be specific:

Acknowledge your biases, traps, and weaknesses.
Make a constant effort to rethink the way you want to think about cleaning by first acknowledging how you feel about it and why. I think the best way to do this (identifying how we feel about homemaking) is by revealing the stories we tell ourselves, sometimes unknowingly. For example:

*How did you feel about cleaning and organizing when you were a child?

*What did your mother teach you about this?

*Your father?

*What role does is have in your life now?

*How does it make you feel?

*What's the first thing you think of when you hear "homemaking?" Why?

I'm sure some kind of specific story could be generated from one or more of these questions that may reveal the genesis of your true feelings about cleaning and organizing today.

At different times in my life, I have felt different ways about homemaking, and that can be a freeing idea because it means that if you have a bad attitude about it, it also means that it doesn't have to always be that way. These are the shortened versions of the dialogue I had in my head when I discovered myself to be a mother of young children with demands of cleaning and organizing becoming, oh-how-do-you-say?-OVERWHELMING, and I started rethinking all of it:

*I don’t deserve this. (I'm too educated to have to do this all day.) What am I modeling to my children about feminism and women's roles by taking on 90% of the cleaning and organizing?

*I have better things to do. Reading/Watching tv is a better use of my time. It will just get messy again, but the information I learn will be with me forever.

*I’m alone in this, I’m the only one who does this. It's not fair. At the beginning of our marriage all of this was 50/50. It's like it was when I was little and the girls always did more housework than the boys. It's not fair.

*My mom ironed the pillowcases and sheets?! How do I live up to that!? She made it look easy. What am I doing wrong?

*I should keep this stuff because it's wasteful to throw things away and I might need it later. Plus, we're kinda poor and I could make something unusual and useful out of it. A different purpose for this sour cream container!

Identify these stories so you'll be able to address what specific roadblocks you have when it comes to cleaning and organizing. That way you know what you're looking for in order to resolve these issues, or at least change them in some way. Otherwise, the list seems overwhelming.

How To Hate Cleaning LESS, Part I

We don’t like to talk about it, but “Homemaking” is a CREATIVE SELF-EXPRESSION. It gets a bad wrap and generally, as a society, we value being busy, and there is a hierarchy to that busyness and taking care of one's home is at the bottom.

I find the CREATIVITY in cleaning and organizing and all those other homemakey things in the style I decorate my home, in the colors I have in my home which invite certain feelings, and I try to organize it all with my ideal aspirations in mind. There are ideals I have in my mind that my home is nowhere near (I love stark, open, modern clean lines and bold modern art), but knowing if an item (pillow, print, toothbrush, etc) is near that ideal, or like it, makes inviting things into my home or not, a simple process.

HOW TO HATE CLEANING LESS: PART I:

Know what you like. This ideal only has to mean something to you. Close your eyes and imagine WHAT YOU WANT your home to look like and feel like with no limit of money, time, help, etc. What does your ideal home look like?

Acknowledge why this work is worth doing to you. Do you like to have a clean house? How does it make you feel when you walk into your home and it's all organized and everything's clean and in its place? How do the other inhabitants of the home feel or react to their surroundings? How much do you value this?

To me, this first part is the most exciting to think about. Over the years I have collected pictures, fabric swatches, wrapping paper, cards, and art prints that I love that somehow speak to me. I have used these little ideas (kept online or in a single binder) to help me choose wallpaper, furniture, drawer knobs, and lamps over the years. The best compliment I can get is when someone comes into my home and says it looks like me, because then I know I'm being deliberate.

This part of the hating-cleaning-less process is also a great way to save money. I like finding a bargain as much as I like having a clean house, and I used to have a tendency to buy something because it was such a great deal. Even if I liked the item, and it was a steal, and even if it only cost 2 dollars, it's money wasted if you don't need it and it won't fit into your ideal space. It has helped me pass buy the darling item (dishes, pillows, etc) at Target to wait for the perfect item.

Topher told me the difference between Girls Camp and Scout Camp is rubber snakes and real snakes. . .

I'm back from Girls Camp.

For those of you who don't know what that is, it's a time to take girls ages 12-18 camping, away from technology and distractions and teach them life skills, survival skills, but most importantly a time to teach them to stop and listen and think about what they want in life, who they are, and who their Savior is and to encourage and strengthen that testimony in a real, authentic way. I had some amazing experiences that are spiritual in nature, but tonight I'm too tired to adequately express those feelings. Maybe later. Tonight I'm just falling in love with my bed all over again and grateful for the blessing of a full DVR of new shows and not having to share a bathroom with 152 other girls.

Girls Camp is also a time for the leaders to work really hard and pretend they can function on 4 or 5 hours of sleep as they sneak Diet Coke from under their pillow and go on long hikes and cook food and sing songs and hear stories confirming how 15 year old boys haven't changed from 20 years ago as we make bracelets, play games, have devotionals, and find rubber snakes in our beds. Don't worry, I've already facebook messaged my old Girls Camp Leaders from decades ago (absolutely true story) thanking them and apologizing for some pranks involving shaving cream and ice water. It's the circle of life, right?

Oh, and I have some Miley Cyrus song stuck in my head. She seriously has millions of dollars, doesn't she? Don't tell me.

Like a wilderness animal who needs to mark her territory, I came home and immediately (as in before a shower and a nap) cleaned my house. As I was scrubbing toilets and mopping down the kitchen floor, I told myself that this is proof that there's something wrong with me. But I told myself (yes, there is more than one voice in my head) that I didn't care and that this would make me FEEL better. And it did so I told myself "FACE! I told you needed this!" My head admitted defeat and promised to stop questioning the cleaning gene if I stopped talking to it out loud. I made no promises.

After my house smelled like bleach and this glorious geranium cleaner I got as a gift (yes, those close to me know I love special cleaners as much as real lady perfume), I felt better. But then I had a headache from a combination of lack of sleep, lack of sitting still for five days, and sunburned ears. I don't know if it was the sleep deprivation or the constant fumes I inhaled at Camp which was a mixture of bug repellant, fingernail polish remover, and estrogen, but I finally realized that I hadn't eaten all day. It was 4:30. I got in my car and went to Wendy's and thought about how nice it was for someone to have all your meals planned out everyday. Just having someone tell you what to help prepare for each meal was such a nice change of pace and a great break~! I told myself. Think about that for a moment. It's kind of pathetic that I thought that (and still think it's true). I guess I know how great my kids have it now! (Except it makes me more and more mad when Hugh rejects everything I think about preparing and then do prepare in favor for plain saltines and Cheerios.)

Oh, while I was gone Topher and his awesome friend built the kids the most amazing tree house (pictures to come) and Margaret says "POOP!" over and over again and won't stop.