I'm training for a half marathon. I know, I know. I know what you're going to say. I think my friend Amy best summed it up when she said something along the lines of "Yeah, right! You meant to say you'll be eating a cheeseburger while you watch a half marathon, right?" Maybe you were thinking that you're sick of the mommy blogging world showing you pictures of marathon runners and triathletes in sepia toned reverence. I hear you. Although, you'll want to see a picture of me finishing a half marathon (if I do) because it will be HILARIOUS: Blotchy red and sweaty and a look of stunned surprise--that's what you'll see. And yes, I'll be wearing makeup when I start, at least. I'm sure it will wear off (but I will be carrying a tube of lipstick--gloss if I'm feeling more "natural") and I'll have that performance energy gel goop down my top.
Before I imagine that "winning look" I'll have at the end, I should explain that my sister, Gina, is making me do this. I know they'll be an angry comment in this post from Gina saying something to the effect of "I'm not making you do ANYTHING! You WANT to do this, and I'm just HELPING YOU!" and then she'll threaten not to help me anymore because I'm "making fun of her." I'll beg her to keep giving me the pep talks that I can, indeed finish, and she'll tell me warm tales of women twice my size who will beat my time and runners who show up in cutoffs and flip flops and still manage to finish. I've heard these stories a million times, but they never get old!
I'm serious when I say that I've been "training." Although I still feel silly calling myself "a runner," because I'm more of "a shuffler," (and an embarrassingly "heavy breather" but it's too painful to describe here.) I'm starting week 7 out of a 14 week training schedule so it's time to start owning up to it. It's slow a slow and steady climb that's allegedly going to make it physically possible for me to run 13.2 miles without my heart exploding or my toenails rubbing off in a bloody mess which are some specific things I worry about.