Saturday, February 27, 2010

I need to buy a fanny pack for my cheeseburger

I'm training for a half marathon. I know, I know. I know what you're going to say. I think my friend Amy best summed it up when she said something along the lines of "Yeah, right! You meant to say you'll be eating a cheeseburger while you watch a half marathon, right?" Maybe you were thinking that you're sick of the mommy blogging world showing you pictures of marathon runners and triathletes in sepia toned reverence. I hear you. Although, you'll want to see a picture of me finishing a half marathon (if I do) because it will be HILARIOUS: Blotchy red and sweaty and a look of stunned surprise--that's what you'll see. And yes, I'll be wearing makeup when I start, at least. I'm sure it will wear off (but I will be carrying a tube of lipstick--gloss if I'm feeling more "natural") and I'll have that performance energy gel goop down my top.

Before I imagine that "winning look" I'll have at the end, I should explain that my sister, Gina, is making me do this. I know they'll be an angry comment in this post from Gina saying something to the effect of "I'm not making you do ANYTHING! You WANT to do this, and I'm just HELPING YOU!" and then she'll threaten not to help me anymore because I'm "making fun of her." I'll beg her to keep giving me the pep talks that I can, indeed finish, and she'll tell me warm tales of women twice my size who will beat my time and runners who show up in cutoffs and flip flops and still manage to finish. I've heard these stories a million times, but they never get old!

I'm serious when I say that I've been "training." Although I still feel silly calling myself "a runner," because I'm more of "a shuffler," (and an embarrassingly "heavy breather" but it's too painful to describe here.) I'm starting week 7 out of a 14 week training schedule so it's time to start owning up to it. It's slow a slow and steady climb that's allegedly going to make it physically possible for me to run 13.2 miles without my heart exploding or my toenails rubbing off in a bloody mess which are some specific things I worry about.

14 comments:

  1. Yay for you! That is awesome, I made it my goal to finish the Freedom 5k this year, beating Julie and Kathy's time... ya right. You go girl!

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  2. Can I secretly train with you? Oh, and by "secret" I mean, I will try, but I won't have to admit I'm doing anything, or that I really stop after .75 miles and say. . .dang, that's hard. Oh, and I will also reward myself by eating 5 oreos when I'm done "running" that .75 miles.

    Running is hard.

    And you're amazing. As always.

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  3. Wow. That is impressive. I always think that it would be something I should do for my bucket list..but then I remember that I don't ACTUALLY want to do it, I just want to say I did. Sadly, lthat is not enough incentive.

    I know you can do it (and Gina is the person that I would want to be my coach...she is hardcore!)

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  4. It's nice to know that someone else has hopped on the crazy train. Running will do that to you.

    I'm rachel, by the way. Nice to meet you.

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  5. Fanny pack always makes me laugh... you know fanny doesn't mean the same thing over here right?! You'll do great, look after those toes!

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  6. I'm very impressed. I'm starting week 6 of a 9 week training program for a 5k, which is nothing compared to a half marathon. But I've never been a runner, so I figure I need to start small.

    I think a half marathon will be on my list eventually. I have some friends who ran one in Prague last summer, and I think it's be a great excuse to take a weekend trip somewhere.

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  7. Remember, it hasn't happened unless it's your Facebook status.

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  8. I'm sorry I said you'd eat a cheeseburger on the sidelines. I really thought you were kidding (though I didn't have any doubt that you COULD do it if you wanted to). And I'm so incredibly impressed. I've been "running" for many more months than you and am only able to run about 2 miles without falling over dead. I can honestly say that I'd never be capable of running a half-marathon, which makes just another reason why I think you're super-awesome.

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  9. Don't be sorry for speaking the truth! I was kidding, at first. And you are totally capable of running a half-marathon. The "Gina way" is that you walk for a minute after every mile. It's totally doable. And because I run now, I can eat more. So now I imagine myself eating something good when I think I can't go on any longer. . .

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  10. You can do it! BTW-it's only 13.1 miles, not 13.2 (let's not run more than we need to!). We'll have a blast! I'm planning on getting a pedicure after the race (it's flat, so you'll still have toenails-and then somebody will also be rubbing your feet!), take a nap, and then get some southern fried food!!

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  11. (and an embarrassingly "heavy breather" but it's too painful to describe here.) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!! I'm proud of you and if anyone has seen lisa lately, she looks amazing!

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  12. I meant what I said about running with you when it gets warmer. Plus, it will make you feel awesome when I drop out after 1 mile and you go one for 6 more!

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  13. So, my advice to you after doing a half marathon of my own... don't get a cold the week before you are supposed to run it. Not good. I did it, but it wasn't pretty. Good luck!

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