My friend Josh called me the other day and this was our conversation:
Josh: Hello, Lisa!
Lisa: Hey! How are you?
Josh: Great! Can Seth come over tomorrow from 2 to 3:30?
Lisa: Yeah, that time works great for us. Hugh will be so excited!
Josh: Great! Thanks and see you tomorrow!
scene. (approximately 14 seconds)
I got off the phone and laughed--absolutely delighted.
This is how 99% of my play date conversations typically go:
Judy: Hello, Lisa!
Lisa: Oh, Hi Judy!
Judy: How are you?
Lisa: Good! How are you?
Judy: Oh, great! You doin' okay, then? Topher gone a lot?
Lisa: Yeah, his play is INSERT WHATEVER I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT TOPHER'S LATEST PROJECT (it's over/winding down/in the middle of rehearsals/whatever), you should go see it!
Judy: Yeah, I will, I will. . .
Lisa: What's going on with you guys? You alright?
Judy: Yeah, things are going well for us. . .(INSERT REPORT ON EACH MEMBER OF THE FAMILY) What about you guys?
Lisa: (INSERT REPORT ON EACH MEMBER OF THE FAMILY. ADD ONE CUTE STORY)
Judy: (LAUGHS) (Comments on story like "Oh, that's our Hugh!" "Oh, If I had a NICKEL!")
*pause*
Lisa: Well, what can I do for you?
Judy: Well, I hesitate to ask. .. I know you're so busy!
Lisa: Well, you are, TOO! What are you talking about!?
Judy: Well, what are you doing on Friday?
Lisa: Oh, (INSERT SOME JOKE ABOUT A MENIAL HOUSEHOLD TASK) (most likely laundry or an exasperated expression like "just trying to hold it together!" or "just wrangling the monkeys!")
Judy: Yeah, tell me about it!
*pause*
Judy: Well, AND YOU CAN SAY NO, but, is there ANYway Trevor could come over on Friday for a couple of hours on Friday while I (INSERT TASK THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED FUN, BUT MAKE TO SOUND NECESSARY AND SOMETHING YOU CAN'T GET OUT OF)
Lisa: Well sure! I'm sure Trevor and Hugh will have a great time! It will be fun!
Judy: Are you SURE! And, you know, I'll return the favor! Anytime, anytime!
Lisa; Oh, I know! I'll be sure to take you up on that!
Judy: Do! Do!
Lisa: I will! (maybe)
Judy: I'm going to hold you to that!
Lisa: Okay.
Judy: Well, if something comes up, let me know.
Lisa: I will. I'll see you Friday!
Judy: Okay! And thanks a lot. I'll see you Friday. And, one of these days, we need to get together and go to lunch! We just need to DO IT!
Lisa: I know, right?
Judy: Okay. Talk to you soon!
Lisa: Bye!
Judy: Bye!
scene (approximately 24 minutes)
You've just described the reason why I never answer my phone.
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love this post. Pure genius! My husband makes fun of me and my friends each and every time we have to ask one another for something because, as you noted, a request that should take 10 seconds turns into a half hour conversation. Lisa, you're a hoot!
ReplyDelete"Thanks, Judy, for taking not only half of my today but my entire Friday and all the days in between that will be spent dreading it and--oh--thanks for that obligatory lunch we'll have to go to in the future. Buh-bye!"
ReplyDeleteIndeed. Another example of how I adore the straightforwardness of men. Women, we just love to jabber and time gets away.
ReplyDeleteWhy do we torture ourselves? Not that it is torture to talk on the phone to good friends, but just ask the favor already!
ReplyDeleteThis is why when we call to make the appointment for visiting teaching we should just be able to count it.
ReplyDeleteSo, so true. I find that if I have a long conversation with a girlfriend (aren't they always long and fantastic?), I will come home and tell my husband about my delightful chat...only to discover that it takes me about 9 seconds to sum up what we covered in three hours of talking. Hm.
ReplyDeleteI just text you now. You're welcome. ;)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to start acting like Josh.
ReplyDeleteWell, MORE like Josh.